The Unofficial Smile Dictionary

 :-)   Your basic smilie. This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or
      joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.
 ;-)   Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark.
      More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smilie.
 :-(   Frowning smilie. User did not like that last statement or is upset
      or depressed about something. 
 :-I   Indifferent smilie. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as
      good as a happy smilie 
 :->   User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-). 
 >:->  User just made a really devilish remark. 
 >;->  Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.

Those are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat less common ones:

 :-[]  Mick Jagger
 (8-o  It's Mr. Bill! 
 *:o)  And Bozo the Clown! 
 (-:   User is left handed. 
 %-)   User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight. 
 :*)   User is drunk. 
 [:]   User is a robot. 
 8-)   User is wearing sunglasses.
 B:-)  Sunglasses on head. 
 ::-)  User wears normal glasses. 
 B-)   User wears horn-rimmed glasses.
 8:-)  User is a little girl.
 :-)-8 User is a Big girl. 
 :-{)  User has a mustache.
 :-{}  User wears lipstick.
 {:-)  User wears a toupee.
 }:-(  Toupee in an updraft.
 :-[   User is a Vampire.
 :-E   Bucktoothed vampire.
 :-F   Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing.
 :-7   User just made a wry statement.
 :-*   User just ate something sour.
 :-)~  User drools 
 :-~)  User has a cold 
 :'-(  User is crying 
 :'-)  User is so happy, s/he is crying 
 :-@   User is screaming 
 :-#   User wears braces 
 :^)   User has a broken nose 
 :v)   User has a broken nose, but it's the other way 
 :_)   User's nose is sliding off of his face 
 :<)   User is from an Ivy League School 
 :-&   User is tongue tied.
 =:-)  User is a hosehead 
 -:-)  User is a punk rocker 
 -:-(  (real punk rockers don't smile) 
 :=)   User has two noses 
 +-:-) User is the Pope or holds some other religious office 
 `:-)  User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
 ,:-)  Same thing...other side 
 |-I   User is asleep 
 |-O   User is yawning/snoring 
 :-Q   User is a smoker 
 :-?   User smokes a pipe 
 O-)   Megaton Man On Patrol!  (or else, user is a scuba diver) 
 O :-) User is an angel (at heart, at least) 
 :-P   Nyahhhh! 
 :-S   User just made an incoherent statement
 :-D   User is laughing (at you!) 
 :-X   User's lips are sealed 
 :-C   User is really bummed 
 <|-)  User is Chinese 
 <|-(  User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes 
 :-/   User is skeptical 
 C=:-) User is a chef 
 @=    User is pro-nuclear war 
 *<:-) User is wearing a Santa Claus Hat 
 :-o   Uh oh!
 3:]   Pet smilie 
 3:[   Mean Pet smilie 
 d8=   Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat. 
 E-:-) User is a Ham radio operator 
 :-9   User is licking his/her lips 
 %-6   User is braindead
 [:-)  User is wearing a walkman 
 (:I   User is an egghead 
 <:-I  User is a dunce
 K:P   User is a little kid with a propeller beenie 
 @:-)  User is wearing a turban 
 :-0   No Yelling!  (Quiet Lab) 
 :-:   Mutant Smilie
       The invisible smilie
 .-)   User only has one eye 
 ,-)   Ditto...but he's winking 
 X-(   User just died
 8 :-) User is a wizard 
 C=}>;*{))  Mega-Smilie... A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft,
           a mustache, and a double chin
Note: A lot of these can be typed without noses to make midget smilies.
  :)  Midget smilie 
  :-`   smiley spitting out its chewing tobacco
  :-1   smiley bland face
  :-!           "
  :-@   smiley face screaming
  :-#|  smiley face with bushy mustache
  :-$   smiley face with it's mouth wired shut
  :-%   smiley banker
  :-6   smiley after eating something sour
  :^)   smiley with pointy nose (righty)
  :-7   smiley after a wry statement
  :-*   smiley after eating something bitter
  :-&   smiley which is tongue-tied
  :-0   smiley orator
  (:-(  unsmiley frowning
  (:-)  smiley big-face
  ):-)          "
  ):-(  unsmiley big-face
  )8-)  scuba smiley big-face
  =:-)  smiley punk-rocker
  =:-(  (real punk rockers don't smile)
  +:-)  smiley priest
  :-q   smiley trying to touch its tongue to its nose
  :-e   disappointed smiley
  :-t   cross smiley
  :-i   semi-smiley
  :-o   smiley singing national anthem
  :-p   smiley sticking its tongue out (at you!)
  :-[   un-smiley blockhead
  :-]   smiley blockhead
  :-{   smiley variation on a theme
  :-}   ditto
  {:-)  smiley with its hair parted in the middle
  }:-)  above in an updraft
  :-a   lefty smilely touching tongue to nose
  :-s   smiley after a BIZARRE comment
  :-d   lefty smiley razzing you
  g-)   smiley with ponce-nez glasses
  :-j   left smiling smilely
  :-k   beats me, looks like something, tho.
  :-l   y. a. s.
  :-:   mutant smiley
  :-\   undecided smiley
  :-|   "have an ordinary day" smiley
  ;-)   winking smiley
  :-<   real sad smiley
  :->   y.a.s.
  :-z   y.a.c.s.
  :-x   "my lips are sealed" smiley
  :-c   bummed out smiley
  :-v   talking head smiley
  :v)   left-pointing nose smiley
  :-b   left-pointing tongue smiley
  :-/   lefty undecided smiley
  :-?   smilely smoking a pipe
  .-]   one-eyed smilely
  ,-}   wry and winking
  0-)   smiley cyclops (scuba diver?)
  :-=)  older smiley with mustache
  :u)   smiley with funny-looking left nose
  :n)   smiley with funny-looking right nose
  :<    midget unsmiley
  :>    midget smiley
  }:^#})  mega-smiley:  updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with
                        a double-chin 
 :-)     ha ha                   
 ~~:-( net.flame 
 |-)     hee hee                 
 O |-)   net.religion 
 |-D     ho ho
 :->     hey hey                 
 8 :-I   net.unix-wizards 
 :-(     boo hoo
 X-(   net.suicide 
 :-I     hmm                     
 E-:-I   net.ham-radio 
 :-O    uh oh   
 >:-I   net.startrek 
 :-P     nyah nyah               
 3:o[   net.pets 
 |-P     yuk
 :-}     beard 
 :-{     mustache 
 :-#     braces 
 :-X     bow tie 
 :-Q     smoker
 <:I     dunce 
 (:I     egghead 
 @:I     turban
 8-)     glasses 
 B-)     horn-rims 
 8:-)    glasses on forehead 
 :-8(    condescending stare 
 ;-)     wink 
 >:-<    mad